Those Advice from My Parent That Rescued Me when I became a Brand-New Parent

"In my view I was simply trying to survive for a year."

Former reality TV cast member Ryan Libbey anticipated to cope with the difficulties of becoming a dad.

However the reality rapidly proved to be "very different" to what he'd imagined.

Serious health issues during the birth saw his partner Louise being hospitalised. Suddenly he was forced into acting as her chief support as well as caring for their newborn son Leo.

"I was doing all the nights, each diaper… every walk. The duty of both parents," Ryan stated.

After eleven months he reached burnout. It was a talk with his own dad, on a park bench, that made him realise he required support.

The straightforward words "You're not in a healthy space. You need assistance. How can I assist you?" paved the way for Ryan to express himself truthfully, seek support and start recovering.

His experience is far from unique, but rarely discussed. While society is now more accustomed to discussing the strain on mothers and about post-natal depression, far less attention is paid about the challenges new fathers face.

'It's not weak to ask for help

Ryan believes his challenges are linked to a broader inability to communicate among men, who often hold onto harmful perceptions of masculinity.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the harbour wall that just gets hit and stays upright with each wave."

"It isn't a show of being weak to seek help. I didn't do that soon enough," he explains.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist specialising in mental health pre and post childbirth, notes men frequently refuse to accept they're struggling.

They can believe they are "not justified to be asking for help" - especially in preference to a mum and baby - but she emphasises their mental well-being is vitally important to the family.

Ryan's conversation with his dad offered him the space to take a respite - taking a short trip overseas, away from the family home, to see things clearly.

He realised he required a shift to consider his and his partner's feelings in addition to the day-to-day duties of caring for a newborn.

When he shared with Louise, he saw he'd missed "what she longed for" -physical connection and listening to her.

Reparenting yourself'

That insight has transformed how Ryan views fatherhood.

He's now composing Leo weekly letters about his journey as a dad, which he hopes his son will look at as he matures.

Ryan believes these will assist his son to more fully comprehend the expression of feelings and make sense of his decisions as a father.

The idea of "parenting yourself" is something musician Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

During his childhood Stephen was without stable male a father figure. Even with having an "incredible" connection with his dad, profound difficult experiences caused his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says suppressing emotions resulted in him make "bad decisions" when in his youth to alter how he felt, finding solace in drink and drugs as an escape from the pain.

"You turn to behaviours that don't help," he says. "They might temporarily change how you are feeling, but they will in the end exacerbate the problem."

Strategies for Managing as a New Father

• Open up to someone - when you are overwhelmed, speak to a friend, your other half or a professional how you're feeling. This can to reduce the stress and make you feel less alone.
• Keep up your interests - continue with the pursuits that allowed you to feel like the person you were before the baby arrived. This might be going for a run, socialising or gaming.
• Look after the physical health - a good diet, getting some exercise and where possible, resting, all contribute in how your mental state is faring.
• Connect with other parents in the same boat - sharing their stories, the messy ones, as well as the positive moments, can help to validate how you're feeling.
• Remember that asking for help is not failure - taking care of you is the most effective way you can care for your household.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen expectedly found it hard to accept the passing, having not spoken to him for a long time.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's resolved not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his boy and instead offer the security and nurturing he did not receive.

When his son starts to have a outburst, for example, they try "shaking it out" together - processing the emotions safely.

Both Ryan and Stephen say they have become more balanced, healthier men due to the fact that they faced their issues, changed how they express themselves, and learned to control themselves for their children.

"I have improved at… dealing with things and managing things," states Stephen.

"I put that down in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan says. "I expressed, on occasion I think my role is to teach and advise you on life, but in reality, it's a two-way conversation. I am understanding just as much as you are on this path."